Hi Friends,
How is 2011 so far? Fantastic? Have you made your New Year's Resolution for 2011? I urge you to listen to Gandhi. If you want a better world, you should change first. One of my New Year Resolutions is to smile and laugh more and stay positive. I want to focus on having fun, relaxing, laughing more and make myself and people around me happier. If I am having a great time, I will have less time to worry. So, here you are.... more jokes from the emails I received!
It's Blondie Time again....
Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away, Melbourne or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
You see Melbourne ...?????"
___________ _________ _________
Car Trouble
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
____________ _________ _________
Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
____________ _________ _________
River Walk
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
____________ _________ ________
At The Doctor's Office
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible! " says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed
even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken".
____________ _________ _________
In A Vacuum
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
____________ _________ _________ _
Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes !!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO. .....," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"
Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away, Melbourne or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
You see Melbourne ...?????"
___________ _________ _________
Car Trouble
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
____________ _________ _________
Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
____________ _________ _________
River Walk
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
____________ _________ ________
At The Doctor's Office
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible! " says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed
even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken".
____________ _________ _________
In A Vacuum
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
____________ _________ _________ _
Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes !!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO. .....," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"
________________________________
Have a fun-filled and Fruitful 2011!Cheers,
Mark
1 comment:
haha this is great...especially for start of week.
spicy
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