This article is dedicated to good responsible parents who bring up their children with good values and who make a positive contribution to society. It is also dedicated to great teachers who love to teach and groom children to their full potential as students. What prompted me to write this was when my friends who are teachers highlighted the challenges they face on a daily basis from over-zealous parents about their children.
Parents in today's context are not able to spend quality time like parents in the "Baby-Boomers" generation. We are the "Sandwich Generation". Parents find it hard to spend quality time with their children as in most cases both parents are working and some also have to look after both their parents and children. It is not easy especially since cost of living is very high and a single income is not sufficient. So how do parents makeup for this lack of quality time. They over indulge their children.
We were at my son's classmates Birthday Party in McDonald's. One mother complained to my wife that the primary school does not have air-con and her poor son has to study in a hot weather. When we attended primary school there was no fan let alone air-conditioner. Then there are Parents who buy presents for children just for completing homework which they are supposed to do in the first place as a student. Children, should not be rewarded for completing their homework. Are parents spoiling their kids? If you ask me, I would say most definitely, YES!
Parents want their children to love them and one way to earn their love is to bribe them with money and toys or whatever they ask for. Never mind that the kids don't learn to appreciate their parents or the value of money and gifts. You wonder why so many parents end up in old folks home or their children steal their hard earned wealth or abandon them once they get a job or get married.
There are Parents who are expecting the teachers to take care of their children now a days. To me that is a tall order. That means the teachers are grossly underpaid because they are doing 2 jobs multiplied by 30 children in each class (est.). They should be getting at least 3x the salary because a Parent's job is not easy. If it was easy, why do parents find it difficult to talk to their children. Why are many couples opting to have dogs and cats as their children. Parent's job as difficult as it may be, is to bring up their children well and the teachers job is to feed the minds of children so that they become knowledgeable. It is not easy for teachers to look after 30 children.
In fact, parents should ask their children's teachers how they can help the teachers do their jobs better. Remember, children are smart and they can act as well. If parents believe everything the kids say then they will be taken for a ride by their kids. But find out the truth before acting or reacting. I am of the believe - "spare the rod and spoil the child". If parents can't do their job properly, then how can you expect teachers to do the parent's job for them?
Here are some advice on how to bring up your children:
1) Teach the kids the "Value of Education". Don't just tell them to study. Explain to them why good education is important and how it can assist them in the future.
2) If you want to reward kids, then do it for the right reasons. Explain to them why they are being rewarded. E.g. if the kid does more than just his homework that makes him even better than his classmates. Then reward him/her appropriately. Don't buy him/her a Ferrari/Louis Vuitton bag/Play Station for their birthday. That only spoils him/her.
3) Have good balance between studies and sports. The kids will be all rounded and well grounded because you need discipline and training to succeed in sports.
4) Talk to the teachers to find out how you can help them do their job better. This will also help the teachers manage the child better.
5) Spend time with the children. Sometimes all the children need is attention. Talk to them about their time in school, whether they need help with their studies, about their friends, etc. Get involved so that children will appreciate you. But watch yourself so that you do not get pushy or intrude too much in their lives.
6) If you have a serious problem with your child, please talk to a qualified counselor. Please do not use threats such "I will die if you do not do not listen to me" or "I will kill you if you go out without my permission" which only scares the children and confuses them even more. Eventually, the threats lose their purpose and become empty threats.
7) Talk to friends who are teachers to get their point of view. You will get a honest opinion about their personal experience. You will be surprised what teachers have to put up with .e.g. when a girl was brought to the Principal’s office, the girl asked the teacher who asked you to look at my "polka dot" bra. Another father, came crying to the teacher saying that the daughter had not returned home and instead she was staying with the boyfriend.
8) And of course there is the Internet. You can go to websites like http://www.oprah.com/ for advise. Here is one article- http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Love-Your-Children-with-All-Your-Might-and-Still-Raise-a-Good-Kid .
9) Teach them some soft skills -Public Talking, Presentation Skills, Investing Skills, etc that outside of their education. These skills will complement their education. Bring them on educational trips like helping cyclone Nargis hit Burma to rebuild their homes.
10) Most importantly, teach children about "Responsibility", "Discipline" and show "Respect".
To Be Responsible- for their actions.
To Be Disciplined – controlled and obedient behavior without sacrificing honesty and creative expression.
To Be Respectful - towards their elders including their parents and teachers and their friends. Saying "thank-you", "please" and "sorry" should come naturally.
Parenting is a challenge but parents who are able to face up to this challenge will have an easier time later on when their children are older. If you want your child to grow up to be good adults and citizens, then you should start when they are young. Children need to understand the value of family, education, money, life, friends, etc and only parents can teach that to their child these invaluable lessons.
My motto is help yourself and help others. Parent's who help themselves by bringing their children up well, will have children who will love them and hence, children who will help others. This will help teachers as they will be able to do their jobs more effectively.
Good Luck!
Regards,
Mark
No comments:
Post a Comment