Brainy Quote

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Spare the Rod and Spoil Child!

I am sure by now you may have heard of the Father who responded to his daughter's Facebook rant with his YouTube video which he then planned to post on his daughter's Facebook site. For those who have not seen it, here is the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU.  The father had a case and the daughter seemed to be a spoil brat. So sad. This is how children treat their parents - their personal teller-machine/Bank and then abuse them when parents are old and have no use to the children.


Parents are put in a difficult position. They try to be good parents by being friends with their children but that is where things go wrong. Children do not know what friendship means at that tender age. They also don't know about the sacrifices parents make so that their children can have a good life. Why? Because in most cases children get everything they want on silver platter without knowing why they are getting it. Parents need to explain to children. And sometimes parents need to teach their children good values such as gratitude and respect, love and compassion, patience and tolerance and so on. This has to be an on going process not a one time lecture as children easily forget what they learnt.


Parents are to be blamed for children's bad behavior to a great extent. Just last week a friend's son got bullied by a girl in the school bus. The girl then went and lied to the mum that the boy who was bullied was the one who bullied her instead. The mother instead of investigating, went and scolded the boy and his friends. The school has since taken action and the girl had been reprimanded for lying and made to change school bus. The girl's mother should be blamed for the girl's deplorable behavior because the mother did not question her daughter and just believed her.


You cannot bring up a child like a friend until you have taught them what is right and wrong and provided you have given a solid foundation. If you are their friend they have an option to listen or not to listen to your lessons or lectures. You have be the  "Authoritarian" figure (but not a "Tiger Mother") and only then will they listen. In my humble opinion, in most cases, the parents and child can be friends when he or she is about 18 years or older. That is when they know what is really right and wrong. Until then the parents will have play their role as parents and and disciplinarians and children should be taught to respect them, their teachers, grandparents, friends, elders, etc. They have to be taught the ways of the world- to show empathy and sympathy towards others, etc. 


One of the best books to teach children this lesson is "To Kill a Mocking Bird". It taught me the life long lesson "putting myself in the other person's shoes so that I can see from their perspective".


Modern Parenting is not easy. You probably need to go and sit for a degree on "Parentology"even before you can deal with some of the kids today. Nonetheless, Parents have to play an active role in their children's growth.  In fact, children of stay@home mum's are better brought up than other children whose parents both work and children are left at home to be taken care of by the "Helpers". While it is difficult these days for mothers to stay at home, both parents must be there for the children in times of their need. You may need to plan your time between family, work and social needs.


God Bless!


Regards,
Mark