Brainy Quote

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Sardar Singh Jokes!

Enjoy these jokes that someone sent to me. Leave logic & common sense in the refrigerator or outside the door.

1) Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.
 

2) One tourist from U.. S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small babies!!!

 
3) Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!  


4)Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.  


5) Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White  


6) Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.  


7) Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "Be silent."
Sardar: "Ok... Ombay. Ombay"
 

8) Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!
 

9) Sardar: Miss, Did u call my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call". (Had never thought of it)
 


Cheers,
Mark
 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Service.....What Service?

Hi All,

It is very difficult to get good service anywhere! It is my humble opinion that all service staff should show some empathy especially those dealing with people.

I had a bad experience in a a polyclinic where I brought my father who is 80 years old for his check up. The Doctor's first question was does my father have any vomiting problem? I was amazed at how this Doctor was like a "robot" going through a factory line of patients did not even care about asking dad "How are you today, sir?" or "how can I be of help to you today?". I had to explain that my father is here for his regular check up and that he needed to do his blood test as he had not done one for 6 months. We had waited for more than two hours and we were out in 10 minutes. My dad, despite his old age & medical problems, can be a chatty person. But on this day, he did not even utter a word to the doctor. I guess for this Doctor it is just a job that pays him a lot of money but one he does not enjoy doing because he did not seem to care much for the patient's well being. At least, that's how I would interpret it from the way he dealt with my dad.

I admire Doctors who care for the patients and who can bring a smile to their faces. The medicine only cures the symptoms some of the time but a smile on the faces of patients can make them forget their pain for that moment.Sometimes the symptoms are imaginary and they just need a listening ear.

And later that afternoon, my family and I left for a short holiday to Phuket. On that flight, I met two American ladies who had a wonderful time in Singapore. But their wonderful trip was ruined by bad service from Tiger Airways according to them. They had bought toys for a orphanage in Phuket called "Happy Homes" near Holiday Inn Hotel and they did not realize that they had to pay excess luggage fee of S$1,500 for the toys. I can't remember if they had some documentation to proof that the toys were meant for the orphanage. The Tiger Airways staff tried to help but no one could get any clearance. To top that, the credit card machine could not work at the counter. Finally, after much frustration, a Tiger Airways staff came and said that the tax will be reduced to S$500 and she manged to withdraw the amount from the ATM machine. But she was disappointed that she had to spend that money on taxes because they were planning to buy additional foodstuff for the home.

I had to sit there and defend service standards in Singapore. I told them that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. This may not have happened on Singapore Airlines. But I told them that the Tiger Airways staff were merely doing their job and that they should contact the management at Tiger Airways since they are bringing the toys for a charitable cause. I told the ladies that Tiger Airways should go out its way to help them since it is for a good cause. I wished the two ladies best of luck and hoped that they get back some of the money back from the budget airline! I wonder if "Budget Airlines" equals to "No Service" or "Canceled Flights"?

It is sad that selected individuals have no pride in their work. If you are in the service industry please pass this message to your colleagues and friends. Be nice to customers you serve and they in turn will be nice to you. And they may even leave a handsome tip.

Up Your Service!

Have a great Day!

Cheers,
Mark


Friday, November 19, 2010

The World Needs More Loving and Kind People!

Someone sent this to me. Please pass this story along to your friends & family especially to teenagers/students. There kids who want to get involved in teen gangs and not only ruin their lives but also cause real turmoil to lives of other families. Teach them the meaning of love and showing kindness towards others.

"A farmer had  some puppies he needed to sell.
He painted a sign advertising the 4  pups and set about nailing it to a
post on the edge of his yard.  As he was driving the last nail into
the post, he felt a tug on his  overalls. He looked
down into the eyes of little  boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck,
"These puppies come from fine parents  and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a  moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got  thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a  look?"

"Sure,"  said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here,
Dolly!"  he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly  followed by four little
balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his  face against the chain link fence. His eyes
danced with delight. As  the dogs made their way to the fence,  the little
boy noticed something else stirring inside the  doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one  noticeably smaller. Down the
ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat
awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others,  doing its
best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy  said, pointing to the runt. The farmer
knelt down at the boy's side  and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy.
He will never  be able to run and play with you like these other dogs
would."

With  that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and
began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed  a steel brace running down both sides of his leg
attaching itself to  a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said,  "You see sir, I don't run too well
myself, and he will need someone  who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down  and picked up the little
pup.


Holding it  carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How  much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer,  "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who  need someone who understands."


Make the World a Better Place!Love All, Serve All!

Cheers,
Mark



Friday, November 12, 2010

Overcome your Advertsity!

Hi All,

Again, another Golf story (part 2-previous Golf & Mind related article on November 4th -"Your Mind is a Powerful Tool"). I was watching Golf Channel and they featured a unique Golfer. He is a one legged golfer.

Meet Manuel De Los Santos. He was once a promising 18 year old Dominican Republic Baseball player. He had been recruited by a big baseball team when he met with a motorbike accident. He lost a leg and with that his promising baseball career. His world collapsed. But he was a "survivor" and found a new passion.....Golf.
Now, if you understand the game of Golf, most able bodied amateur players are not able to master their mind to play half as good a Manuel. That's how mentally strong Manuel is. He drives his ball over 260 yards (about 250 meters) on one leg. You have to have incredible balance to do it with one leg. He refuses to use a prosthetics leg. He is a 3 handicapper. He became good at it and now conducts exhibition golf around the world. (for more detailed report you can find more information on http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/golf/article6851460.ece ).

The point is that able bodied individuals who face small but challenging problems just give up and want to take short-cuts in life. Why? We unlike Manuel have so many options and yet we refuse to explore them. Instead, we blame God, people around us, fate except ourselves. Manuel with his limited options compared to us able bodied individuals decided to use his limited options to good use and has succeeded. Put it simply, it is a case of "mind over matter". You can achieve your goals if you put your heart and mind to it like Manuel. Come up with a plan and ask for advise from people who may know more or may be able to make good suggestions.

People like Manuel and Susan Boyle are an inspiration to people who want to all of us. If they can do it, so can we!

For me, I have resolved to become a better Golf Player and reduce my handicap to below 15 by end of next year. Wish me luck!

Have a Great Weekend!

Cheers,
Mark

















Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Operation "Time Square"- Car Bomb

Hi All,

The operation "Time Square"- Car Bomb, simulation exercise is proof that Singaporeans like to complain about everything and the same time we take things for granted. Out of the, 7000 odd people who walked by only 260 people noticed something wrong and only 55 people bothered to call "999". When I read the Straits Times today, I was shocked. And I heard over the radio that people were making excuses on their blogs and Facebook pages......"like what will happen if 7,000 people call the police at the same time."

Why have Singaporeans become so complacent? We tend to take things for granted that the government will take care of us. But we can be the eyes and ears that help to detect unwarranted activities or dangerous situation, and assist the Police in minimizing the chances of such events happening. We can be safe but you do not want to be sorry because you overlooked that minor anomaly that could have saved people's life. You do not know when danger will strike but at least we should be vigilant.

A case in point, I just heard from a friend that she got robbed couple of weeks ago by 3 men near her house in Sims Drive. The robbers pushed my friend down, grabbed the bag and kicked her head. I never thought this could happen to a friend of mine even though you read about it all the time in the papers.

The point is, we need to be more careful even though we have had a relatively safe environment in Singapore for a long time. Terrorists will go to great lengths to achieve their goals which to us is a criminal act. We should not be paranoid but at the same time we should show some concern about the place we call our home. Let's help maintain the peace and tranquility that we have enjoyed so the our children will have safe environment to live in.

Cheers,
Mark

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Your Mind Is a Powerful Tool!

Hi  All,

Last Wednesday, I had dinner at one my favorite Indian restaurants with my friends from college. We met after more that 20years. We had a great time but I believe the cook put too much of "MSG" in the "fish-head" curry. I could not sleep because my throat felt dry, So, I woke up at 3.00am to watch Golf and they were showing Lady's Golf tournament. Kristie Kerr a top women's golfer was playing and she was leading the tournament with a 5 shot lead. But apparently, she hit a bad drive in one of the holes and she double-bogeyed (which is bad when you play golf). But that started playing on her mind and she lost her 5 shot lead. She started missing her putts which keeps missing the holes by millimeters. You could hear her shouting at herself and the golf ball.

I played golf on Friday, and this thought of Kristie Kerr missing her putts kept playing in my head, I don't know why. I was playing well but I kept missing some of my putts like how Kristie Kerr was. I could have"Birdied" (which a good thing in Golf) but I ended up "bogeying" a "birdie-able" hole. This happened on at least 4 of the holes. I did not let this bother me too much and I enjoyed my golf. But I wish I had better control of my mind, I would have played a great game with a few birdies.

My point is that.....be careful of what you think.Use your mind well. It may just come true.Power of "VISUALIZATION". If you can think positively, what you wish will come true. Likewise, if you this of the worse-case scenario (thinking negatively), it will also come true. If you can train yourself to be positive, you will be able to achieve what you want.

So be careful what you think and say. Like your thoughts, your words also have the power to empower or weaken you. Best of Luck!

Happy Deepavali!

Cheers,
Mark